Coffee is not merely a beverage on the morning menu, it is a right. Some of us need coffee for our brains to function correctly and some of us really, really love the taste. Others of us enjoy the ritual as much as anything.
Talking to a coffee drinker, their investment in the stuff becomes obvious. Within five minutes, you’ll definitely know whether you’re talking to a casual coffee drinker, or a straight up coffee snob. Below are a few things only a coffee snob would understand. Are YOU a coffee snob?
Pre-Ground Coffee Is Not An Option
Who knows how along ago it was ground?
Making Morning Pour-Over Is Actually Kind Of Meditative
Until you rip through one Chemex filter, and then every time after that is filled with terrible trepidation.
The Crema Is One Of Life’s Greatest Joys
That’s not steamed milk, man. That’s just what espresso DOES.
How It Feels When Someone Says ‘Expresso’
Our brains. OUR BRAINS.
You Are Way More Interested In How Recently The Coffee Was Roasted
Than How Dark/Caffeinated It Is
We know, French Roast people. You love how bitter it is.
“Coffee Creamer” Will Do No Such Thing
Powder does not belong in coffee.
The Stuff In Here Is A LAST RESORT
We’re really sorry it’s come to this. Are you at your in-laws’ or something?
This Is One Of The Nicest Things Someone Can Do For You
And a good morning to you TOO, sir.
This Isn’t Coffee
This is dessert.
This Mostly Gets Used For Cold Brew Now
Hot coffee-making has moved on to greener pastures, like the Aeropress and the Chemex.
You Know What This Is Called And How It Works
(For the rest of you, this is a siphon system and it works like a magical coffee vacuum.)
Adapted from an animated Huffington Post